How do we survive the loss of a dream, the heartbreak of the loss of a love, a job, a tragic diagnosis from the doctor? These are the unexpected opportunities and tragedies life can throw us.
How do we move through these times? Do we numb, isolate or seek connection and support?
How we manage any loss is how we approach every loss, heartbreak, and disappointment. We experience individual and collective shock, protest-“ but that wasn’t supposed to happen” We experience, sadness, anger, shame, vulnerability and grief.
And then what…
Life breaks us all. We all get the opportunity to meet these times with genuine pain and sorrow. It takes time and deliberate choice and effort to heal, mend and repair-toward a stronger, wiser and resilient future.
John Gottman, PhD of the Gottman Institute shares in any relationship, we have countless opportunities to turn toward our loved ones through giving and receiving emotional bids for greater connection, affection, compassion, empathy, gratitude, and support as opposed to turning away with disconnection or even turning against with criticism or even contempt.
Let us turn toward our selves, our loved ones and our community!
Here are three tips to achieve resilient love:
- Practicing self-compassion. The kindness we share toward ourselves is the connector with others from a place of greater heart. Kristin Neff, PhD shares generously about this- http://selfcompassion.org
- Practicing courage. It takes courage to “pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off and start all over again! “ Take one turtle step at a time toward an action that will bring strength. Here are a few examples- asking for forgiveness from a loved one or co-worker, returning to our practice of health and wellness after a change or setback , reaching out to a prospective employer or career connection. . Brene’ Brown, PhD http://brenebrown.com/so brilliantly states- “We can be brave and afraid at the same time”!
- Practicing vulnerability. Dr. Brown has struck a cord in her outreach and research to millions with very down to earth wisdom and humor. Her research urges us to give ourselves permission to face and share our imperfections and to take risks with courage. This is how we can live a richer life achieving purpose and passion with resilient love and joy!